Stupid people that think they are smart

They have to be the most annoying people in the world. It's practically impossible to hold a sensible conversation with them - you feel that you're having one of those drunken conversations with your mate where you get all serious about ridiculous issues, the generally go alone these lines "How can you say that the salted peanut is superior to the roasted peanut, that's a ridiculous claim!". The problem with having these kind of conversations when you're not drunk is that they hurt your brain.

I had the misfortune of having such a conversation with a stupid-think-I'm-smart person yesterday. I called up an estate agent and asked if they could send me a tenancy application form for a property we are viewing on the weekend, to which I was told they couldn't do it. "Why?" I asked. "Because you have to view the property before you can apply". "Yes....I understand that, I'm coming to have a look at it on Saturday and rather than go home fill in the form then drive over to your offices and return the form, I thought I could fill it in and hand it over if I like the place". There was a moment of silence before her response. "You have to view the property before you can apply". OK, am I missing something here? Do you understand what I have just said or not, clearly not, so I reiterated my response, to which I got the following response... wait for it.... "you have to view the property before you can apply". It was at this point that I noticed that every time she said this, she made her voice sound that little bit more authoritative and knowledgeable. At this point I decided to give up and take what was left of my brain and go about my day. The take out - stupid people think that if they say the same thing again with a more serious tone that it will make sense - I've got news for you, if you're talking crap it doesn't matter how serious you say it, it still doesn't mean anything - look at most politicians.

You know you're getting old when...

The band that all the girls loved when you were a kid have a comeback. I remember laughing at my older sister, Alison, when all the "best of the 80s" stuff stated coming out - "it's official, you're old now" i said, "You'll get yours" she said - I thought, what does she know, she's old. Well, that one came back round and took a massive chunk out of my ass didn't it!

As I sat there this morning watching Take That perform their comeback single on TV, I realised - it's happened, I has finally happened, I'm getting old. As if to add insult to injury, the presenter bellowed out "it's been ten years since your last performance"....bugger it has been ten years. I distinctly remember the hatred that every teenage boy had towards that band, every hit song they had just grew the hatred even more. But fast forward ten years, I sat there on my couch, eating my breakfast and humming along, thinking, this is quite good - another sign of old age - losing your taste in music.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Rubbish.... You're all thinking "what a lazy git". Well you'd be wrong. I've actually been pretty damn busy, the appropriate insult would be "what an inconsistent git" - I feel more comfortable with that. Anyway - stay tuned for some more updates.